I‘m going to leave it for Mumford and Sons to explain in their own words: Today, I will be sharing with you some wonderful news. But before that, I will be sharing with you my final woeful confession, Part III in the holy trinity of never-to-be-repeated tales of teen-angst. Technically, this series could have run to triple figures, but counsellors cost money kidz and mailerz don’t pay dem billz, so I can’t be deep sea drillin’ my psyche, runnin’ the risk of revealing who-knows-what long-buried burdens…
Even before the nightmare of adolescence takes a death grip, those years between tiny and teen (I steadfastly refuse to refer to myself as ever having been a ‘tween’) can be quite the crisis of identity: ‘Who am I?’ ‘What will I be?’ ‘What the hell has happened to my…!?’ etcetera etcetera. A veritable minefield of ‘mare, and one that I walked, completely unknowing, straight in to. With no People’s Princess to highlight the plight, I stepped on more than my fair share of anti-social clangers. None more explosive than when I attempted to convince the nippers at my new secondary that I was American…
I moved to the States for 10 glorious days in the Summer of ’93 – some may call it a ‘holiday’ – only to discover upon my return that where had recently swaggered an East coast hustler, now moped a dainty drip from the Home Counties. So, armed with standard playa issue Reebok Pumps (bite me Hargreaves) and equipped with Red Bulls beanie and dealing in Yankee-cut candy, I perfected my accent and fleshed out my back-story. This was long before I mastered the art of the adult lie, and as I’m sure you know, for the fledgling blaggard ‘subtlety’ is a dirty word, so I just kicked the doors down and came out blazing… Here I am homies, adopted son of MJ (regretted that one), BFF’s with Caulkin (ditto), and if you can get past my eye-scanning security gates you can see my Johnny 5 butler, ride my hoverboard and have a go on my Zaltar Speaks that makes you BIG for 24 hours. King me dullards!
But all good things come to an end and I was soon rumbled, save for one special individual who still believes to this day that I’m American by birth. He confronted me over claims I’d attended Bayside High before saying he understood why I’d lied as it must be tough being new, particularly when moving from another country… I saw him recently and he commented that I’d almost – almost – lost my accent. Amazing.
That was a star-spangled themed pre-teen fail; you however, can avoid your own similar star-spangled fail, by inching your heads in front of the masses in the race for Mumford & Sons U.S tour tickets via the PRE-sale ticket links below!
That’s right! Mumford & Sons are embarking on another Stateside tour! MUMFORD? AMERICA? TOUR? PARTY IN THE U.S.A!!
Hopped off the plane at LAX with a dream and my tweed, welcome to the land of fame, excess… Whoa! Are we gonna fit in!?
Yes, at all these places:
October
Mon 18th – Hollywood Palladium – Hollywood, California / USA *all ages*
Wed 20th – Warfield Theatre – San Francisco, California / USA *all ages*
Fri 22nd – Crystal Ballroom – Portland, Oregon / USA *all ages*
Sat 23rd – The Vogue Theatre – Vancouver, British Columbia / CA *all ages*
Sun 24th – Moore Theatre – Seattle, Washington / USA *all ages*
Wed 27th – Ogden Theatre – Denver, Colorado / USA *16+*
Fri 29th – First Avenue – Minneapolis, Minnesota / USA *18+*
Sat 30th – Pabst Theater – Milwaukee, Wisconsin / USA *all ages*
Sun 31st – Vic Theatre – Chicago, Illinois / USA *all ages (no pre-sale available: general begins Friday via mumfordandsons.com)
November
Mon 1st – War Memorial Auditorium – Nashville, Tennessee / USA *all ages*
Wed 3rd – Stubb’s Waller Creek – Austin, Texas / USA *all ages*
Thu 4th – House Of Blues – Dallas, Texas / USA *all ages*
Fri 5th – The Republic – New Orleans, Louisiana / USA *18+*(no pre-sale available: general begins Friday via mumfordandsons.com)
Sun 7th – Buckhead Theatre – Atlanta, Georgia / USA *all ages*
Mon 8th – The Valarium – Knoxville, Tennessee / USA *18+*
Tue 9th – Electric Factory – Philadelphia, Pennsylvania / USA *all ages* (no pre-sale available: general begins Friday via mumfordandsons.com)
Thu 11th – House Of Blues – Boston, Massachusetts / USA *all ages*
Fri 12th – Le National – Montreal, Quebec / CA *all ages*
Sat 13th – The Sound Academy – Toronto, Ontario / CA *all ages*
Mon 15th – Terminal 5 – New York, New York / USA *all ages*
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